So, I've been in a slump. This is the time when I have to eat some of these words I'm so willing to dish out to others. I've been going through a period of uncertainty: what am I doing, is it the right stuff, is it enough, should I be somewhere or something else, what's it all for, and blah, blah, blah. I so want my life to mean something, that I start to question everything. And, is that a good thing, or a bad thing? So, for my appetizer, I will eat this: "Stay in the moment." When the call comes, LISTEN. When I'm teaching, do it with all my heart. If I'm reading, pay attention. When I'm with someone, don't be doing 3 things at once! Then, for my entree, I will plan my time, not rigidly, but purposefully. And, for my side dish, when things upset my plan, I will tend to them as though they are just as purposeful. Then, for dessert, I will use those little in-between moments for prayer, and song, and thought. And I will believe that my prayers will be answered, and leave the meaning to God. Oh, and I will drink a refreshing cup by doing something kind for someone else.

Did you hear the bells on Christmas day?

So, it's been a while. Fall came and went. The holidays came and went. Winter is in full swing. And you? Did the time just somehow vanish? Did relatives and friends come and go and after cleaning, shopping, preparing, visiting, wrapping, cooking, baking, singing, traveling -- did you just breathe a sigh of relief that at last it was all over? Did you struggle and rush and stress through, or did you stop to drink in the purpose of it all? Were you thankful on Thanksgiving? Did you make a stop at the Menorah or the Manger? Did you take some pictures of your mom or your child or your friend? Did you sing some carols and really think what you were singing about? Did you ponder 2010 and consider 2011 as the party paused on December 31st? Well, it's gone. And that's ok. But if you have regrets about that, take some time now. Write someone, call, sit and talk, or better yet, sit and listen. Pray, and then listen more. This day is nearly over, too. It's not too late.

Micah 6:8

I heard a message today. The message was one of those that people in church don't always like to hear. Except, when you're in church, it's rather conspicuous to stand up and walk out. It was about helping people. Really doing something to help people. It's sometimes easy and convenient to let the words of Jesus waft through the air, and latch onto the ones we like. "Your sins are forgiven..." "Neither do I condemn you..." "You are the light of the world..." "Do not let your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid..."
But what about those words that are harder to hear? What about those that cost us a lot more, and cost Him a lot more? Words like, "Love your enemies..." "Go and sin no more..." "when you pray, forgive if you have anything against anyone..." "if someone asks you to go one mile with him, go with him two..." "if you don' t forgive others, neither will my Father forgive you..." "judge not and you will not be judged..."
What do we do with these things? The speaker told the story of the rich young ruler who asked Jesus what he had to do to gain eternal life. Jesus tells him to obey the commandments he already knows. The man says that he's already doing that. Jesus says, and I'm paraphrasing,"ok, then. Go and sell all you have and give it to the poor." The man "goes away sad, because he was very wealthy." I don't believe Jesus is saying it's bad to have money. But, if money has us, then it is a problem. Convenient giving and selective occasional service don't really cost us anything. The love of God for us cost Him everything. If we give something up that we'd like, so that someone can have something they need, that is the beginning of sacrifice. Can we put some of our own stuff aside? Can we forgo that newer bigger better whatever, to let someone else know that they matter? Can we see the value in investing in the eternal well-being of another, or in the physical needs of another?
I know that when I hear words like this, and they make me uncomfortable, that it is a sign that I'm not doing enough. I pray that I may let the words of Jesus change me, particularly the words that are hard to hear.

tempus fugit

My title of this post is perfectly timely, haha, in that I have not written an entry is so long. But that's obviously not the sufficient reason for the title. Yes, time flies. I can't get back last year, last week, or last minute. So, what about this one? What will I make of that? Will I wait and watch as it goes by? Will I fill it with busy-ness or business or nothingness? Will I spend it in, around, and about, "stuff?" Or will I pay attention to what really matters? Will I use it in the eternal matters: God, people, relationships. Will I be listening and caring about why I'm really here? Will I be working or not working? Thinking or not thinking? Will I watch another show, play another video game, surf another 10 minutes on the net? Hm. There went a few more minutes.
This isn't to say that we need to be furiously "doing" all the time. There is lots of room for wonder, silence, play, helping those younger and older. There is lots of room for prayer, for reading, for contemplation, for reflection. Just be aware. Know what you're about, what you're doing, and why you're doing it. Then, when those next few minutes have passed, you'll know they were worth it.

an intentional life

I'd like to take this opportunity to honor someone who really understood this thing about making the moments matter. My father, Tony, was someone who never achieved fame, was never wealthy by the standards of the day, was not in the Who's Who of his time, and didn't accomplish some monumental discovery that changed history. Yet, he was someone who had peace, purpose, joy, faith, and strength. He had this simple motto, burned into his soul: "What can I do for you today?"
Say, what?
Yep. My father's life was merely living for others: his wife, his kids, his customer, his neighbor, his brother, the stranger on the other end of a charity request. Dad, while working, and even after retiring, gave his time, his resources, his wisdom, his experience, to others. And, he loved it. He never complained about what he didn't have or what ache or pain he might be feeling. He was too caught up in the secret. The real source of deep personal happiness. Giving. Selfless, continual giving, without expectation of reciprocation or reward.
I watched this man as I grew up in his presence. I saw, firsthand, a person so utterly unconcerned with himself, that it staggers the 21st century mind. We, here in 2009, try so hard to find something that satisfies, that we just keep stuffing it in and around us. And all we get is more dissatisfaction. We want, we need, we have to.....you fill in the blank, and we build our empires and our debts. We push others out and away because we have to have more and we want it now.
Man, if I could only learn the lesson of my dad. I want to. I pray to.
Dad, thanks for the example. I want to be your legacy.

Doing, being, becoming

Ah. In the time between my last post and this one, I've had another birthday. Yeah. Another notch in the passing of my life. And, it begs the questions: What am I doing? What have I done? One thing I have learned in these 50+ years, is that, as a human being, it's not only about what I'm doing and what I've done. It's rather about what I have been and what I am. After all, we're human beings, not human doings. Will we be remembered for what we've done? Maybe. Will we be remembered for what we were? Most certainly. Good or bad. It's our character, our inner "stuff" that makes the difference. I will go one step further. It is more important that we concern ourselves with what we are than with what we do. Rick Warren, in his book, "The Purpose Driven Life," begins it with this phrase: "It's not about you." This staggering, counter-cultural profundity contains the incredible essence of his thesis. In order to have a life with purpose, we must get ourselves off the number one slot in our priorities. If you dare to try this upside-down direction, you can find that your life takes on meaning, that you are becoming something better than you were before, and that, you can be truly, deeply happy and satisfied. It's as though seeking happiness leaves us empty and frustrated and still wanting more, but seeking to please God and seeking to help others leaves us full and content. Imagine.
So, can you slow down a few moments? Take a look at your life. Take a look inside. Ok, what are you doing? But more importantly, what are you becoming? Do you like it? Are you happy with what you see? It's not too late to change, as long as you still have a pulse. And, if you're still reading, you can start right now. One act. One change in attitude. One determined decision to take yourself out of that #1 position on the list. I dare you.

The Gift of the Present

Today, I listened to a wonderful message from a guest preacher at my church. One of the most important truths I received from him was the concept of being a "non-anxious presence." The gist of this is that we can be, and should be, fully "present" at what we are currently about. We should give our attention to the task, or the conversation, or the relationship, that is at hand. How often are we distracted, half-hearted, sort of listening or watching or doing? How often is our ever-faster-paced culture dictating that we multi-task, sometimes to the detriment and even danger of ourselves and those around us?
When was the last time you just sat somewhere with no other reason than to just sit there? When was the last time you truly listened to someone with both your ears, and looked at them with both your eyes? When did you last talk on the phone and not do something at the same time? When did you last sit or kneel in silence before God, with no concern for time or schedule or electronic intrusion? When did you last appreciate the immeasurable miracle of your life and simply enjoy the sounds, sights, and smells around you?
If we could only be fully present with each and every moment, perhaps we would see the incredible value in those moments. Sure, there are some tasks that seem pointless, or extraneous, or simply necessary parts of life, but those are the ones we can intentionally add meaning to (look at some of the earlier entries for my ideas, then add your own). But some things we do have intrinsic value already. We only need to pay attention. For instance, when your friend calls you and says "I really need to talk," it might be the time to put your schedule aside, and shut your computer off. When your child says, "Mom, can you tuck me in?" you can let the laundry and the e-mail wait. When you get this nagging urge to apologize to somebody, it might be your only opportunity.
How precious is this moment? How important it is to be fully alive in it?