tempus fugit

My title of this post is perfectly timely, haha, in that I have not written an entry is so long. But that's obviously not the sufficient reason for the title. Yes, time flies. I can't get back last year, last week, or last minute. So, what about this one? What will I make of that? Will I wait and watch as it goes by? Will I fill it with busy-ness or business or nothingness? Will I spend it in, around, and about, "stuff?" Or will I pay attention to what really matters? Will I use it in the eternal matters: God, people, relationships. Will I be listening and caring about why I'm really here? Will I be working or not working? Thinking or not thinking? Will I watch another show, play another video game, surf another 10 minutes on the net? Hm. There went a few more minutes.
This isn't to say that we need to be furiously "doing" all the time. There is lots of room for wonder, silence, play, helping those younger and older. There is lots of room for prayer, for reading, for contemplation, for reflection. Just be aware. Know what you're about, what you're doing, and why you're doing it. Then, when those next few minutes have passed, you'll know they were worth it.

an intentional life

I'd like to take this opportunity to honor someone who really understood this thing about making the moments matter. My father, Tony, was someone who never achieved fame, was never wealthy by the standards of the day, was not in the Who's Who of his time, and didn't accomplish some monumental discovery that changed history. Yet, he was someone who had peace, purpose, joy, faith, and strength. He had this simple motto, burned into his soul: "What can I do for you today?"
Say, what?
Yep. My father's life was merely living for others: his wife, his kids, his customer, his neighbor, his brother, the stranger on the other end of a charity request. Dad, while working, and even after retiring, gave his time, his resources, his wisdom, his experience, to others. And, he loved it. He never complained about what he didn't have or what ache or pain he might be feeling. He was too caught up in the secret. The real source of deep personal happiness. Giving. Selfless, continual giving, without expectation of reciprocation or reward.
I watched this man as I grew up in his presence. I saw, firsthand, a person so utterly unconcerned with himself, that it staggers the 21st century mind. We, here in 2009, try so hard to find something that satisfies, that we just keep stuffing it in and around us. And all we get is more dissatisfaction. We want, we need, we have to.....you fill in the blank, and we build our empires and our debts. We push others out and away because we have to have more and we want it now.
Man, if I could only learn the lesson of my dad. I want to. I pray to.
Dad, thanks for the example. I want to be your legacy.

Doing, being, becoming

Ah. In the time between my last post and this one, I've had another birthday. Yeah. Another notch in the passing of my life. And, it begs the questions: What am I doing? What have I done? One thing I have learned in these 50+ years, is that, as a human being, it's not only about what I'm doing and what I've done. It's rather about what I have been and what I am. After all, we're human beings, not human doings. Will we be remembered for what we've done? Maybe. Will we be remembered for what we were? Most certainly. Good or bad. It's our character, our inner "stuff" that makes the difference. I will go one step further. It is more important that we concern ourselves with what we are than with what we do. Rick Warren, in his book, "The Purpose Driven Life," begins it with this phrase: "It's not about you." This staggering, counter-cultural profundity contains the incredible essence of his thesis. In order to have a life with purpose, we must get ourselves off the number one slot in our priorities. If you dare to try this upside-down direction, you can find that your life takes on meaning, that you are becoming something better than you were before, and that, you can be truly, deeply happy and satisfied. It's as though seeking happiness leaves us empty and frustrated and still wanting more, but seeking to please God and seeking to help others leaves us full and content. Imagine.
So, can you slow down a few moments? Take a look at your life. Take a look inside. Ok, what are you doing? But more importantly, what are you becoming? Do you like it? Are you happy with what you see? It's not too late to change, as long as you still have a pulse. And, if you're still reading, you can start right now. One act. One change in attitude. One determined decision to take yourself out of that #1 position on the list. I dare you.

The Gift of the Present

Today, I listened to a wonderful message from a guest preacher at my church. One of the most important truths I received from him was the concept of being a "non-anxious presence." The gist of this is that we can be, and should be, fully "present" at what we are currently about. We should give our attention to the task, or the conversation, or the relationship, that is at hand. How often are we distracted, half-hearted, sort of listening or watching or doing? How often is our ever-faster-paced culture dictating that we multi-task, sometimes to the detriment and even danger of ourselves and those around us?
When was the last time you just sat somewhere with no other reason than to just sit there? When was the last time you truly listened to someone with both your ears, and looked at them with both your eyes? When did you last talk on the phone and not do something at the same time? When did you last sit or kneel in silence before God, with no concern for time or schedule or electronic intrusion? When did you last appreciate the immeasurable miracle of your life and simply enjoy the sounds, sights, and smells around you?
If we could only be fully present with each and every moment, perhaps we would see the incredible value in those moments. Sure, there are some tasks that seem pointless, or extraneous, or simply necessary parts of life, but those are the ones we can intentionally add meaning to (look at some of the earlier entries for my ideas, then add your own). But some things we do have intrinsic value already. We only need to pay attention. For instance, when your friend calls you and says "I really need to talk," it might be the time to put your schedule aside, and shut your computer off. When your child says, "Mom, can you tuck me in?" you can let the laundry and the e-mail wait. When you get this nagging urge to apologize to somebody, it might be your only opportunity.
How precious is this moment? How important it is to be fully alive in it?

Share the fragments

So, you're over the hill, or so you may feel. Maybe, you're 50 or thereabouts. Anyway, you're most likely done with half of your time on the planet, hm? You look, you see the great memories, the fine relationships, the fruit of your labor. I hope you take time to look. Rewinding the videos can be a good thing every now and then. Given the same circumstances and the same you, you would most likely make the same choices, wouldn't you? Be thankful for that good stuff. If you had an intact family where there was love and caring and growing and shared life, thank God for that. If you had food and clothes and school and stuff, thank God for that, too. Remember some of your early friendships? How about some teachers who actually gave you some real time and attention? Thank God for that. Now, think harder: can you be a good memory for somebody else? Can your life lessons make a difference for someone else? Can your friends and kids and parents remember you with fondness and smiles and gratitude?
Time in relationship is not a waste. You can invest some of your life experience into someone else's life.
Ok, now what about the other side of this coin? What if you look back, and the bad memories cloud out the good ones? Maybe there was no intact family. Maybe there was sadness, or anger, or abuse, or neglect. Maybe you'd rather not rewind some videos too often. Well, given the same circumstances and the same you, you would most likely make the same choices, wouldn't you? Maybe other people's choices made your life harder than it had to be or should have been. Maybe you had to grow up way too soon and you still feel robbed and resentful. Maybe you struggle now because of then. So, what got you through "then?" Did you make some bad choices to escape pain? Are you still? Are you still letting other people and circumstances from way back control your life now? Are those old videos still the only ones you watch? You don't have to, you know. You can let the God of all comfort heal those hurts. You can get help from those who know and care and are trained to help. You can let the past be the past. Then, you can help somebody else who is still watching their videos and wondering why.
Our defeats can become someone else's victory. In so doing, they can become ours.

Tempus Fugit

Living with purpose. Living with intent. This is how our lives could and should be. One moment, this moment, is really all we have. Oops. It's gone now. See? It's incredibly fleeting. So, for now, for this very moment, I choose to live here, fully aware, on purpose. I am writing now, because I know it's too easy to miss moments. Then, they become days and weeks and months. I don't want anyone reading this to miss it. Life is far too precious. All we did and do and will do can still count for eternity. We only need to allow God to take His rightful place in our lives. He'll do the rest.

Gather the fragments

Here's a challenge: Think. Think back. Think back to a time in your life, specific or not, where you'd like to "fix it" or "do it over." Let the memory come, growing more clear and perhaps more painful. It's ok. We all have them. Don't run. Don't wince. Face it. Stay with it for a while. Own it if you can. It might be little; it might be big. It's ok. It's yours. It is part of who you are, and why you are. What are you thinking? "How could I do that?" "What was I thinking?" "Am I stupid, or what?" "If only I had known..." "Why did that have to happen?" Fill in your own thoughts.
What are you feeling? Regret? Hate? Anger? Sadness? Disgust? Do those feelings feel foreign, or more like coming home? Have they ever really left?
So, what of this? Do we dredge up the past for the sake of it? No, no.

When Jesus had taken five small loaves and two fish and fed over 5,000 people, the crowd ate until they were satisfied. Not only that, but there were leftovers. Jesus told His disciples to take baskets and to gather the fragments so that nothing would be wasted. Imagine it.

Now, back to your life and mine. What if we ask Jesus to take the fragments, the broken pieces, the 'waste' (or so we might assume), and to somehow make something of it. Do you believe He could? Yes, indeed. I have seen it over and over. A mistake, a tragedy, an illness, a loss....something seemingly hopeless and meaningless. Yet, give it to Him, and He takes it in His most capable hands, and does something amazing. Open yourself to Him. He can bring new life where there was death, healing where there was brokenness, peace where there was regret. He can even give you new insight into yourself, and the ability to relate to others who are "there" right now.

Yes, Jesus is not called the Redeemer for nothing. He can buy back that which we thought was forever lost and completely irreparable. He can use you and your life's 'fragments' to enrich your life and the lives of others. Ask Him.

So, what mundane activities can actually become purposeful? Practically everything. One thing I really don't like to do much is grocery shopping. But, there is a wealth of opportunities to give purpose to this seemingly boring and repetitive activity. Look for someone to say "hello" to. Smile, even though you might feel awkward. Open your eyes to the wealth of choices and products we so take for granted. Offer a prayer of thanks for a country where we are free to choose; no one chooses for us. Tell the cashier she or he is doing great. Let someone get in front of you in line. Compliment someone on their work or their appearance. When you get home, and you've moved the same stuff from shelf to carriage to conveyor belt to carriage to car to house to fridge or pantry or cupboard: look at your shelves, your refrigerator, your freezer. Take it in. Thank God you have food. Thank God for resources to buy food. Thank God for abundance. Pray for those who are hungry right now. Pray for those who are in prison eating putrid or rotten scraps. Pray for those who have nothing. Let it sink in. See grocery shopping for what it is: a blessing.

ordinary can become purposeful

Now for an example of making our present matter intentionally. Do you have any idea how much time most people spend in their cars? Just imagine if we became determined to have that time be more than just a means to an end. Just imagine if those minutes and hours became vehicles (haha) for issues of eternal consequence. Let's say you have a 45-minute commute. Instead of growing stressed and impatient with traffic and other drivers, what if you said a short prayer for each person in the car in front of you. What if you prayed for your boss and your co-workers. What if you prayed for your family and friends. What if you thought of one person in your life that you could do something good for and not be found out. What if you asked God about your life: how could you become more like He is? What if you just turned off the radio and had a few moments of total silence and asked God to speak to you?
Ok. Now, you're saying, "but I'm never alone in the car!" So, maybe you carpool, or maybe you're a mom who carts kids around most of the day. Well, you have a different advantage and a separate opportunity. You have a captive audience. You can use the time to engage in meaningful [important word] conversation. You can approach difficult topics of moral and spiritual consequence. You can talk to your fellow passengers about things that matter in the eternal scheme of things. And, even better, you can listen. Really listen. Most of the people in our world these days are too busy to listen. You have a chance to actually establish relationships. What a gift.
See how this works? We all have a chance to make our moments (thus, our lives) significant if we but use them with intent. Life can actually become exciting and fun in a beautiful and almost secret way!

Make It Matter Intentionally

So, what's all this about? Make what matter? And intentionally? Well, here's the gist of it: I have learned in my more-than-half-over life, that all people come to the same end, namely, death. And I have also learned in my more-than-half-over life, that most people desire the same thing as they get ever closer to that inevitable end. They want their life to count for something. We all do. We want to know that our lives mattered. That somehow, in the grand scheme of things, we made a difference. Now, not everyone is a Pope or a President or a Mother Teresa. But, nonetheless, we can know that we can most certainly count. So, how? One huge factor, I am confident, is the beginning. THE Beginning, with a capital "B." God. Yes, the One Who can make sense of everything before, now, and yet to come. When God is in your life, and thus, in the equation, then you can have ultimate value and meaning. God can take the past that we cannot retrieve, and redeem it anyway. God can take the seemingly insignificant moments of our present and use them for amazing things. God can even shape our future before we get there. So, how to find meaning? Open your heart to Him, and get intentional.
Here's an example: My past had some (what I considered) wasted years...time I spent in lonely, self-pity and depression. I ended up with an eating disorder, very few friends, hating myself and my life. Can I go back and re-live those years? Of course not. Can I make them matter intentionally? Yes. I can tell young people what I did, so they don't have to go there. I can ask God to lead me to share openly to help others who may be experiencing depression or eating disorders right now. I can thank Him that it's not too late to live outward instead of inward.